The eyes are embodiment of messages. There is a little wonder when a popular saying states that “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” That is without the eyes, it is almost impossible to understand the innermost intents of people that are not communicated verbally. Hence, anyone that cares to read body language properly must accord a reasonable level of respect to the importance of the eyes. Before I move into the details of the clues, let me briefly explain the concept of baseline.
A baseline is how someone acts when they are under normal, non-threatening conditions. You easily can establish baselines by sitting down with the person you want to read better—your child, your spouse, your friend, a suspect, colleague in office–and talking casually to them about neutral topics that they would have no reason to lie about, such as the weather or what they want to have for dinner. Take note of how they act, how they hold their body, how they sound.
Once you have established someone’s baseline, you can look for some of the typical gestures people make with their eyes, outlined below. If you see one of these clues and it is different from their baseline behavior, you know it is a red flag and you have to dig a little deeper (Vanessa, 2018).
When people block their eyes, this is a literal indication of not wanting to see what they are being shown. You will see this when people feel threatened by something or are repulsed by what they are hearing or seeing. This is an indicator of an uncomfortable reaction. You also see eye-blocking in the form of eye-rubbing or lots of blinking. Eye-blocking is a powerful display of consternation, disbelief or disagreement. This is actually an innate behavior–children who are born blind still cover their eyes when they hear bad news (Vanessa, 2018).
When a person adjusts the width of their pupil, it connotes a huge message. Confucius opined that “Look into a person’s pupils. He cannot hide himself.” In given instances, the pupils will dilate or contract as people’s attitude or mood change from positive to negative and vice versa. When a person becomes excited, their pupils have the capacity to dilate to up for up to four times the original size. On the other hand, when the person switches to negative or angry mood, the pupils will contract to a ‘beady eyes’ or ‘snake eyes’. For lighter eyes, this looks more attractive because it is easier to notice the dilation take place (WSTM, 2018).
Eye contact is another essential point of discussion. Generally in Western societies and many other cultures, eye contact with a person is expected to be regular but not overly persistent. Constant eye contact is often considered to be an attempt at intimidation, causing the person who’s the object of a person’s gaze to feel overly studied and uncomfortable. Even between humans and non-humans, persistent eye contact is sometimes unadvisable: the New Zealand Medical Journal reported that one reason so many young children fall victim to attacks by pet dogs is their over-poweringly regular eye contact with pets, which causes them to feel threatened and defensive. Overly persistent eye contact is also a sign of a person’s over-awareness of the messages they are emitting. In the case of a person who is try to deceive someone, they may distort their eye contact so that they’re not avoiding it – a widely recognized indicator of lying (Psychologist World, 2018).
If the eye contact is not persistent, there is high probability that it would be evasive. Why do we avoid looking at a person? It may be because we feel ashamed to be looking at them if we’re being dishonest of trying to deceive them. However, Scotland’s University of Stirling found that, in a question-and-answer study among children, those who maintained eye contact were less likely to come up with the correct answer to a question than those who looked away to consider their response. Eye contact, as a socializing device, can take a surprising amount of effort to maintain when this energy could be spend on calculating, as opposed to perceptive, tasks (Psychologist World, 2018).
Breaking eye contact can indicate that something that has just been said that makes the person not want to sustain eye contact, for example that they are insulted, they have been found out, they feel threatened, etc. This can also happen when the person thinks something that causes the same internal discomfort. Eye contact often increases significantly when we are listening, and especially when we are paying close attention to what the other person is saying. Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are visual thinkers as they stare into the distance or upwards as they ‘see’ what they are talking about (Changing Minds, 2018).
Furthermore, gazing has so many untold messages to anyone that can decode them. Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table or a person. When you look at something, then others who look at your eyes will feel compelled to follow your gaze to see what you are looking at. This is a remarkable skill as we are able to follow a gaze very accurately. Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (notice where the gaze lingers). This can be quite insulting and hence indicate a position of presumed dominance, as the person effectively says ‘I am more powerful than you, your feelings are unimportant to me and you will submit to my gaze’ .Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is ‘inside their head’ thinking about other things. The acceptable duration of a gaze varies with culture and sometimes even a slight glance is unacceptable, such as between genders or by a lower status person (Changing Minds, 2018).
References
Changing Minds (2018).Eyes Body Language. Retrieved from http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/parts_body_language/eyes_body_language.htm
Psychologist World (2018).Eye Reading (Body Language). Retrieved from https://www.psychologistworld.com/body-language/eyes
Vanessa (2018).How to Read People Through their Eye Movements and Uncover Hidden Emotions. Retrieved from https://www.scienceofpeople.com/read-people-eyes/
WSTM (2018).Clues from the Eyes. Retrieved from http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap8.html
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