When body language is maximized, it can always give the desired results. That is, with the use of body language, lines can always fall in pleasant places for you. However, you have to be conscious about it so that everything can work out as planned. Leaders around the world do maximize its use in order to appear bigger, smarter and brainer than the rest of us. For most of us, this is just the opposite. We lack the focus to understand the story our body — or someone else’s body — is telling (Clark, 2018).
First, learn to assume power pose. This is perhaps the most important starting point in improving your body language. Assuming a power position, as mentioned here, is all about standing up (or sitting down) tall and proud, and taking up as much space as possible. Research at both Harvard and Columbia Business schools shows that holding your body in a power pose, such as standing up tall with your feet spread and your arms stretched for as little as two minutes can stimulate testosterone production. For significant periods of time after you’ve assumed the pose, it lowers the stress hormone cortisol too (Clark, 2018).
In addition, learn to use the power of touch casually. There have been many correlations between the touch and the ability to put people at ease. Of course, there are people out there that just don’t like to be touched, but they’ll often make that quite clear by stiffening up or pulling away slightly when it happens. Others, you should use the opportunity to shake hands, hug, kiss or just give a quick pat on the back whenever possible. The key differentiation between those that use touch well, and those that are just plain creepy, is knowing when to use it, and when not to. Further, I have noticed it overtime that when leaders shake, they make use of both hands, meaning they’ll shake and cover your hand with the other. This obviously lends itself to the theory that touch improves connections between two individuals (Clark, 2018).
As a demonstration of your interest in what is being said, try to lean in. Leaning in slightly when someone is speaking demonstrates that you are actively listening while leaning away signals that you are disinterested or hostile to the situation (Pendergrass, 2013).
Always make active use of the arms. Crossing your arms is the visual clue that you are turned-off by what is going on around you. Practice hanging your arms comfortably at your side or bringing your hands together in your lap to show others that you are open to what they are communicating (Pendergrass, 2013).
Just like the arms, the hands are also crucial in communicating positively. Talking with your hands is an easy way to incorporate gestures into your conversation but be careful not to make it a dance party. Emphasizing words with your hands can lead you to appear more credible and assured. Just to make sure that it is very appropriate. See it more as a tool for making emphasis rather than a substitute for the mouth (Pendergrass, 2013).
Genuine smile also breaks the yoke when communicating nonverbally. Body language isn’t just about the position of your body, it’s about your all-around vibe. A genuine smile — unlike a contrived one — makes people feel comfortable and at ease. If you do this while maintaining eye contact when they’re speaking, they’ll often open up more as they begin to feel a sense of connection, as if you’re listening and attentive. When you are being attentive, it means that you are generally interested in people, and proving your interest is a great way to make others feel at ease. Most of us, however, continue to pull out our phone or let our eyes dart around the room while others talk, which gives the opposite effect, one of disinterest. The fastest way to get someone to open up around you is to get them talking about themselves, and prove to them that you’re genuinely interested in hearing it (Clark, 2018).
In the same vein, moving affirmatively depict you as being positive. You can show empathy with simple actions of agreement like nodding your head or smiling. These actions let people know that you are on their side and that you can identify with their plight. You can even use laughter when appropriate. Never forget to take notes too. Taking notes lets others know that you value what they are saying and that you are engaged in the conversation. Taking notes is not appropriate though in every situation. So, understand the context before venturing into the action (Pendergrass, 2013).
Calmness also shows you as being professional and reasonable. Take a deep breath, hold it for a second or two, and let it out. Focus on slowing down your speech and body movements a bit. This will make you appear more confident and contemplative. It will also help calm you down if you are nervous (Pendergrass, 2013).
Reflect the actions of your co-interlocutor. This is better known as mirroring. Much research has been done on this topic and it turns out that most people feel more comfortable with others like them, or those they perceive to be like them. In this case, mirroring others involves taking on their poses, speaking at the same volume and cadence, crossing your legs when they cross theirs, mimicking their expressions (casually), and following along with other similar behaviors. Casually imitating others creates a subconscious sense of connection in humans, a phenomenon that’s been studied for some time. The reasons aren’t quite clear, but most hypothesis tend to revolve around our desire to seek out those that we feel comfortable with, which is typically those that we feel are most like us (Clark, 2018).
Keep your head up and look the person who you are having a conversation with in the eyes both when they are talking to you and when you are talking to them. There is no need to stare them down and remember to blink and look away occasionally. Good eye contact lets others know that you are interested in the conversation (Pendergrass, 2013).
References
Clark, B (2016). Make The Most of Your Body Language for Powerful Benefits. Retrieved from https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/make-body-language-powerful-benefits/
Economy, P (2018). 18 Ways to Send the Right Message with Body Language. Retrieved from https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/18-ways-to-make-your-body-talk-the-language-of-success.html
Pendergrass, K (2013). 10 Positive Body Language Techniques to Help You Succeed. Retrieved from https://blog.udemy.com/positive-body-language/
Images are from: https://www.freepik.com/, https://www.pexels.com/ (C) 2022, Alan Elangovan, All Copy Rights Reserved.