There are some people who have simply sworn to make life miserable for anyone posted under them, especially those ones they believe they serve as a threat to their position. Depending on what research you review, the numbers could be as low as 50% to as high as 75% on the number of employees who quit their jobs not because of the job itself, or the company or a lack of opportunity, but because of their boss. Dealing with a difficult boss is demanding at best and emotionally stressful at worst. It can impact your work performance, your sleep habits, your home life, your work and personal relationships outside of the one with your boss, your self-confidence your self-worth and your ability to perform at the highest levels of excellence you could achieve (Flaxington, 2018).
A bad boss colors everything: You might drive to work dreading your day. You might have a moment of hope when you submit your latest work only to have it criticized or ignored, and then your day is ruined. You might have a sick feeling in your stomach as you work. You might wake up from nightmares dreaming about your boss. A terrible boss is invasive to the heart, mind and soul for many people (Flaxington, 2018). The good news, however, is that you can break into the heart of such person, no matter how difficult they appear to be. I will give you some insights of doing this shortly.
Learn the act of mindfulness. Imbibing the act of mindfulness at your place of work can be a game changer. It drastically lowers stress levels, which is critical when dealing with a difficult boss. Practice focusing on the present moment. This means not dwelling on what your boss said to you yesterday, or worrying about what she might say tomorrow. Another mindfulness tip is to focus on your breathing. The next time your boss says something that it about to throw you into a tailspin, sit and practice deep breathing. Inhale through your nose, hold briefly, and exhale out your mouth. Repeat until you feel calmer. Simple exercises like these will help you keep your cool and allow you to look at things with a clearer head (Stahl, 2018).
Check if there are things you could do better. People tend to blame their bosses when things are not going their way and their work output is called into question. Before jumping to the conclusion that your boss sucks, ask yourself if their “horrid” behavior toward you is a result of their poor communication skills or, perhaps, it’s your lack of efficiency that is bringing out the worst in them. Try giving extra effort towards measurable items that you both agree upon and see if you are rewarded (Daum, 2018).
Keep on doing your work to the best of your abilities in order to make yourself irreproachable. Bosses will get on an employee’s case if they keep on making the same mistakes. To ensure that they do not hassle you, be diligent about doing your job to the best of your abilities. Working with that attention to detail will likely keep them away from bothering you. Try making a list of your errors and systematically eliminating them. If you get to zero errors in your work and you are still getting pounded it is most likely not you (Daum, 2018).
Be empathetic. While this step may feel difficult, try to be the bigger person and reflect on what your boss might be going through. Is she dealing with a difficult manager or under extreme stress? Perhaps there’s something going on in her personal life that is affecting how she handles things at work. Practicing empathy can help you understand their perspective and perhaps even realize that their behavior towards you isn’t personal (Stahl, 2018).
Take responsibility. Is your boss bringing everyone else on the team down, or is she mainly focused on you? If you notice that you’re one of the only people that have a negative relationship with your boss, take a step back and ask yourself how it got that way. Did something happen that you can take responsibility for? If that’s the case, step up and rectify the situation right away. If it isn’t the case, go ahead and vent…just don’t do it inside of the office (Stahl, 2018).
Never be lured into an open conflict. Your boss giving you a hard time can be quite aggravating. It can draw the ire of every bone in your body. You might feel like sometimes you simply want to yell back every horrid thought at that horrible boss. And sometimes, you might be justified in answering hostility with hostility. Don’t. The worst thing you can do is give them even more reasons to pick on you. Don’t lose control and give into the hostilities. Instead , wait for the moment to cool down before responding in any fashion. Increasing the tension benefits no one (Daum, 2018). If there is any reason to confront them, make it outside of your office.
Give consideration to their perspective. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.” Those wise words resonate when dealing with such potent opposition as a difficult boss. Consider what kinds of triggers set them off. Consider why they might behave the way they do toward you so that you can figure a way to end the torture. Know them well so that you can manage them better. Through genuine empathy you might even be able to rally them to your side once they figure out you are actually on theirs, assuming you actually are of course (Daum, 2018).
Take the bold decision to book appointment with them and have a roundtable discussion with them. The best way to solve many interpersonal issues is simply to talk it out in a safe environment for both parties. If you see a problem with your boss, approach him or her and ask for some time to talk about the issues that you see. Offer those solutions to them and try to reach a compromise for the betterment of the working environment. Of course don’t go in on the attack. Start with a spirit of inquiry and be ready to listen and learn (Daum, 2018).
References
Daum, K (2018). 9 Ways For Employees To Deal With A Difficult Boss. Retrieved from https://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/9-ways-for-employees-to-deal-with-a-difficult-boss.html
Flaxington, B (2018). Dealing With A Difficult Boss. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201802/dealing-difficult-boss
Stahl, A (2018). 4 Ways To Manage A Difficult Boss. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2018/04/24/4-ways-to-manage-a-difficult-boss/#3666f670228b
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