Learning how bank heists occur is very vital to ending it. What you don’t have, you cannot give; an event you can’t explain how it happens, it would be very difficult for you to put a stop to it. Learn to think like a robber so as to get invaluable ideas to end robbery. In this article, we will consider how bank robbers plan and spy on you without you noticing. Again, you will have to temporarily think like a robber so as to have a full grasp of what would be discussed here.
The Planning And Execution Processes
Gathering of a crew: Pulling a successful bank heist by an individual is very difficult, if not impossible. You’ll need some professionals to execute the plan properly, and if worst comes to worst, lay the blame on. Make sure you can run faster than them.
- The Transporter: You won’t make it far on foot. Therefore, you’ll need a driver (like Jason Statham) to get you to and from the bank. Note: You’ll probably also need a car. James Bond’s invisible BMW should do well.
- The Shooter: A key component of the heist. You’ll likely want to take hostages, and they won’t be intimidated by your skinny little arms. Therefore, firearms are a necessity. Also, make sure they’re loaded. That’s kind of important. A list of recommended weaponry can include a Colt .45, Uzi, AK-47, Musket, Super Soakers, etc.
- The Locksmith: Maybe the girl working the counter is acting like the girl working the corner. You might have to pick a few locks here and there. Also, locksmiths tend to be slow, so they make good cannon fodder, despite the fact that no one uses cannons anymore.
- The Mastermind: This is you. Or it should be you. If it’s not you, it’s not your bank heist. It’s your job to bring the crew together, and be the one to tell the bitch to put the money in the bag (Uncyclopedia, 2019).
Common Phrases Usually Used
After you come in the door, you have to break the silence. Be careful about what you say, or no one will take you seriously. Here are some good lines to use after you kick the door open:
- “Everyone on the floor!”
- “Hands up! No heroes!”
- “Where are my pants?”
- “I’d like to open a checking account!”
- “This isn’t the post office!”
- “You told me we were going to Disneyland!”
- “I wanna go to McDonald’s!”
- “Do you have stamps?”
- “The damn ATM is broken!”
The Shootout Stage
If you rob a bank, sooner or later the authorities are going to show up. Thats why you brought the guns. Hopefully you haven’t wasted all of your bullets on innocent bystanders (or forgotten to LOAD the guns in the first place). If you have, throw office supplies and yell profanities at them.
A shootout can often end in a hostage situation. Here’s some tips on a hostage situation:
- Make sure your hostages are PEOPLE
- Make sure that they’re ALIVE
- Make sure that people actually CARE about them
- Stay away from windows
- Stand behind the hostages
- DO NOT give the hostages guns or your home address and phone number (Uncyclopedia, 2019).
The Escape Plan: Distract the police with a donut or something, then run out the door as fast as you can, but faster. Be sure to break something on the way out. Go out to where your driver is waiting. If the locksmith can’t run fast enough, leave him to his fate. Drive away (Uncyclopedia, 2019).
From the foregoing, you will discover that the mind of robber is filled with worms. It is the base of all forms of atrocities. In order to wage war against them, you have to think of the best way out of the scenario shared above. Thwart their plans; think proactively; always be prepared for an imminent attack and never be hesitant to reinforce your team.
Let me end this piece by sharing a case study so as to enable you have a practical knowledge of what has been explained so far.
Under Black Carpets—Masterminded by Ilona Gaynor at Los Angeles, California
Ilona Gaynor is a designer and artist based in London whose work was influenced by the artist, Janice Kerbel. She designed an intricate heist set in Los Angeles, California because she’s interested in the “feedback loop” that happens between real-life heists and those in Hollywood movies. From about 1960 to 2000, L.A. was the bank robbery capital of the world. In the worst years there were more than 2,500 robberies a year in L.A.; that’s about one robbery every 45 minutes of the working day. In 1983, L.A. had more robberies than the next four highest cities (New York, San Francisco, Portland, Oregon and Sacramento) combined. L.A.’s bank robbery statistics are now much less jaw-dropping; in 2013 there were only 212 reported robberies. Some have conjectured that the physical layout of L.A. played a role in making it the bank robbery capital of the world for several decades. Gaynor thinks it may have had something to do with the “intrinsic pull of Hollywood on everything having to do with the iconography of a heist.” (Mars, 2014).
In the spirit of the Hollywood-style heist, Gaynor’s heist is meant to be a spectacle. It begins with a plane crashing into the high-rise, One Wilshire (a building that houses computer servers) in L.A. As emergency responders are busy with this distraction, five banks in the immediate surrounding area are being robbed. Gaynor’s plan involves drilling concentric circles into the banks, pulling out the vaults, and loading them onto a truck. When her work is finished, it will consist of model reconstructions, short-films, sculptures and photographic prints that re-tell the story of the heist. In 2013 she ran a Kickstarter campaign to fund her work (Mars, 2014). This is just a story of art explored from the horror of bank heist. Of course, this level of creativity brought out from the event doesn’t contradict the fact that bank heist is evil and should be ended.
References
Horn, L (2015).How To Rob A Bank As Told By An Actual Bank Robber. Retrieved from https://adequateman.deadspin.com/how-to-rob-a-bank-as-told-by-an-actual-bank-robber-1710663924
Mars, R (2014). How To Pull Off The Perfect Bank Heist. Retrieved from https://gizmodo.com/how-to-pull-off-the-perfect-bank-heist-1582765610
Uncyclopedia (2019).HowTo: Execute A Bank Heist. Retrieved from http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Execute_a_bank_heist