People’s commitment and attitudes are better known through body language. Your body language sends messages internally as well as externally, so it only makes sense that you can use your body language to influence yourself just as you would those around you. Your body language either shows you are positive or negative in your attitude depending on what you do.
The first negative attitude of body language is avoidance of eye contact. This sin has many variations. Standing with arms crossed; the fig leaf position of hands in front of the crotch; creating a church steeple with one’s fingers; “washing” the hands while speaking; even a gesture with palm outward toward the audience that seems to say, “Stop!” — Every one of these features a speaker creating a physical barrier in front of listeners. Let those arms remain at your sides, and bring them up to make a gesture that amplifies or supports your meaning. It may feel awkward at first, but you’ll soon get used to it (Genard, 2017).
Another poor attitude is unproductive use of space. Believe it or not, it’s easy to over-emphasize gestures and ignore using space! Audiences expect a performer, not a statue. In fact, it’s your job to command space. Using different parts of the stage tells an audience you’re comfortable up there; and few performance techniques aid engagement like letting listeners know you’re about to start a new point. If you stand in a different spot for each of those points, listeners will retain each one more reliably. Use your audience in terms of space as well, approaching them to answer questions or to “check in” frequently (Genard, 2017).
Another problem is employing weak or repetitive gestures. “What should I do with my hands?” is a frequent question of anxious speakers. The answer is simple: a gesture should be an integral part of what you’re saying. As Hamlet put it, “Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.” With that mantra in mind, it should actually become difficult to use too many gestures, since that particular gesture couldn’t possibly fit that many expressions! The other half of this equation is the power and spareness of the gesture: each one you make should be strong, support the phrase, and end cleanly (Genard, 2017).
A positive attitude everyone needs to imbibe is to ensure that barriers are avoided. In order to establish trust with anyone we need to show them that we’re not a threat to them, and we don’t fear them either. Remember that defensive body language affects our attitude? So if we’re on the defensive it would be hard for others to approach us, and for us to accept them. For this reason, we need OPEN body language, one that avoids barriers. The goal is to always remove all defenses and create a welcoming, warm and confident atmosphere, you show that you’re not afraid of others, and they shouldn’t be afraid around you. This “opening up” is obviously a process; complete strangers won’t turn immediately to your biggest fans. But if you know the right steps, you can speed things up, or at least understand their general attitude towards you. Some of the steps to take towards this are:
At the beginning, complete strangers will comfortably assume the crossed body position with their arms and legs. They will also keep a considerable distance from each other. And they might close their coat or hold an object in front of them. As the relations warms up, the legs barrier will disappear and they will get a little closer. Next, people will start to gesticulate more and reveal their palms. The arms will uncross and finally, there would be leaning and pointing with the body towards others. With this stance, you have created your commitment and passion towards a given course(SBL, 2018). When you take this initiative, there is a high probability that others would be opened to you too because people who are interested in us will subconsciously mirror our body language. You can also reverse the process by assuming a defensive position yourself—context is the key in all situations.
With an open gesture, people can always use it to communicate an attitude of openness. Avoiding barriers is the first step in projecting positive body language, you eliminate the obstacles, now is the time to show honesty and trust, the stuff that built good long term relationships. If you want people to speak well of you, seize the opportunity of open body language while dealing with them. Let’s make it a bit more practical: Do you remember the way your relative or good friend has greeted you after a long departure? They probably spread their arms upwards and exposed their palms, like embracing you from afar. This very open and positive gesture really warms the heart (SBL, 2018).
Well, while you can’t use it in everyday situations with EVERYONE – Your boss might suspect that either you won the lottery or that your mind went on vacation; a criminal suspect might see this as being overly superficial and it can even sound unusual to a close friend, but you can use similar gestures to project open, honest and positive body language. A great way of doing so is to keep your palms exposed, this shows willingness and honesty, you’ve got nothing to hide and you want others to trust you. Other signals that can help you project sincerity and cooperation are:
- Keeping your body straight – to project confidence and energy.
- Keep good eye contact – shows that you are attentive and unafraid.
- Keep your head in neutral position – don’t bow to them but don’t look down on them either.
- Keep your body and clothes open and avoid holding objects in front of you.
- Smile truly and at the right time (SBL, 2018).
Leaning forward is another way you can make your attitude known to people. When you like someone you want to get closer to himher, it’s that simple. The closer you get, the more interested you are. Hence, leaning forward, especially when combined with nodding and smiling, it’s the most distinct way to say nonverbally: “yes, I like what you’re saying, keep going” (SBL, 2018).
References
Amo, J (2012). Change Your Body Language, Change Your Attitude. Retrieved from http://www.bodylanguageexpert.co.uk/changebodylanguagechangeattitude.html
Genard, G (2017). Negative Body Language: 7 Deadly Sins of Nonverbal Communication. Retrieved from https://www.genardmethod.com/blog/negative-body-language-7-deadly-sins-of-nonverbal-communication
SBL (2018).Open and Positive Body Language Postures. Retrieved from http://www.study-body-language.com/Positive-body-language.html
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