When people are not ready to entertain you or what you are saying, they can use their body to build a defensive barrier against you. Most times, they might not express their intents through the words of the mouth. Hence, the message is always figuratively passed to anyone who is observant enough to decode it.
When a person is feeling threatened in some ways, they will take defensive body postures as a way out of the threat. According to Changing Minds, “The basic defensive body language has a primitive basis and assumes that the other person will physically attack, even when this is highly unlikely.” This means that most often than not, people run away from their shadows all in the name of being threatened by a situation or person who doesn’t care about them.
In physical defense, the defensive person will automatically tend to cover their vital organs and points of vulnerability of the body that could be damaged by an attack. The chin is held down, covering the neck. The groin is protected with knees together, crossed legs or covering with hands. The arms may be held across the chest or face. The threatened person may also fend off. In doing this, arms may be held out to fend off attacker, possibly straight out or curved to deflect incoming attacks (Changing Minds, 2018).
They might not even do it in a subtle manner as explained above. Any physical object may be placed held in front of the person to act as a literal or figurative barrier. This can be a small as a pen or as large as a table. Straddling a reversed chair makes some people comfortable in conversation as they look relaxed whilst feeling defensive. The barrier may be static, such as a desk or may be carried, from a pen held in front (maybe with both hands) to a hugged cushion or crossed arms. This is one reason why children may carry toys around, held close in front of them. Barrier is simply meant to serve as a defensive technique for the frightened individual (Changing Minds, 2018).
Another popular way of building defensive barrier is becoming small. The target will intentionally reduce its size. People may thus huddle into a smaller position, keeping their arms and legs in. Another primitive response is to tense up, making the muscles harder in order to withstand a physical attack. Rigidity also freezes the body, possibly avoiding movements being noticed or being interpreted as preparing for attack (Changing Minds, 2018).
Some other times, it can take the form of hiding. People who are feeling vulnerable will tend to move to safe places, for example walking on the inside of the sidewalk, away from the road, or just staying indoors in familiar environments. When they are in vulnerable positions, they may be seen to be using more protective body language, hunching down, wrapping arms together and so on. Also, flicking the eyes from side to side shows that the person is looking for a way out (Changing Minds, 2018).
Contributing to the subject matter, Study Body Language (SBL) states that “Arms folding with clenched fists is a display of a more aggressive and hostile stance than the usual arms folding, and can serve as a warning before a physical assault. You can often see this gesture in selectors and other security personnel, the message is: “don’t mess with us”” This shows that defensiveness is a two-way thing. That is, both the accused and law enforcement officers can build defensiveness, depending on the context.
Other forms of defensive body language appear in the legs or ankles. Crossing the legs is a subtler and milder way to hide insecurity. It’s much less obvious as most people tend to ignore the lower body for gestures. Crossing the ankles can be an equivalent gesture to biting the lips – a signal that this person is holding something back, not expressing it. Crossing the legs, though, can derive from old habits, not a defensive attitude. For example, girls are taught from early age to keep their legs together as it’s a more “lady-like” position. As a result, if you spot a girl sitting with her legs wide apart it’s a display of a dominant or even provocative manner –”I don’t care what you think” is the message here (SBL, 2018).
Stacey Hanke in a 2011 article lists six communicative barriers that are more of behavioral hindrances than body language. The first barrier he mentioned is lack of enthusiasm. Nobody will believe your points if you fail to communicate your passion, commitment and enthusiasm through facial expressions. The best way to avoid this barrier is by beginning to pay attention to the type of facial expressions you use and when you use them. You may not be aware of when you frown, roll your eyes, or scowl. Also, make sure your facial expressions are appropriate based on your topic, listeners and objective. When you’re smiling while communicating a serious or negative message, you create a discrepancy between your facial expression and your message. The same discrepancy applies when you’re communicating a positive message without facial expressions (Hanke, 2011).
Another barrier mentioned is lack of eye connection. The only way to build a relationship is through trust. When you forget what to say, you will look at the ceiling, floor, PowerPoint slides or anywhere away from your listener. When you disconnect you’ll say: “uh” “um” “so” “and”, etc. While all these are happening, the communicator would have surely taken their eyes off the audience and this shows there won’t be any connection. In order to avoid this, when speaking to more than two individuals, connect with one individual for a complete sentence or thought. Take a moment to pause as you transition your eyes from one individual to another (Hanke, 2011).
There are people who have more awareness of the use of their body. Such individuals employ more advanced and subtle forms of defensive body language. People who have more awareness to their body language, such as public figures, know that folding the arms may send a message that they feel insecure or defensive. So in order to protect their image they try to avoid obvious gestures of discomfort. But, since we cannot fully control our body language, especially in times of stress, their insecurity is revealed by more subtle means, such as: “correcting” or playing with the wrist watch or other accessories on the other arm. This is a self-touch gesture that also shields the body, and provides an excuse to do so (SBL, 2018).
References
Changing Minds (2018).Defensive Body Language. Retrieved from http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/defensive_body.htm
Hanke, S (2011). 6 Communication Barriers and How You Can Avoid Them. Retrieved from http://sixminutes.dlugan.com/6-communication-barriers/
SBL (2018).Postures—Defensive Body Language. Retrieved from http://www.study-body-language.com/Defensive-body-language.html
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